Loneliness and Homesickness Hat 1
Changed Loneliness to Connection
My first overseas move and birthday were two months apart. Back home I spent the day with my cousins in the living room, eating my mom’s cooking while my dad sang the worst, yet most charming, songs ever. However, on my birthday, I woke up in a still and quiet apartment. My phone had a bunch of birthday messages as I traveled between different time zones. While I still had a lot of time left in the day, unfortunately for everyone back home, 9 in the morning marked the time they were fixed to bed. Spending the day in ‘depressed’ mode is the reason I ‘applied’ some of my “coping strategies.” I could've spent the day doing my coping strategies, but I didn't want to. Since I could have easily wasted a day just scrolling through social media, I chose to do something more meaningful.
We all realize that one small change in habits makes a difference to you, here what I did,
Preparing for Difficult Days
About a week before my birthday, I mentioned it offhand to a classmate and asked if she wanted to have coffee. One thing led to another and she ended up inviting a few more people and before I knew it, a small group of friends was eager to hang out with me. We ended up having dessert together at one of the campus cafes. Although it was not home, at least I did not feel invisible.
Maintaining a Healthy Relationship with Home
I stopped video calling my family at all times because, instead of feeling bad, I wanted to set a specific window to talk to them in the evening. Scheduling this call gives me something to anticipate, and my day here at least becomes worthwhile.
Joining Groups and Clubs
This month, I joined the university’s culinary club and they seemed to have a pot luck that same weekend. I ended up speaking to five different countries about a simple recipe I made back home and it reminded me of my mother’s kitchen. I left that night with leftovers, new friends, and the feeling that my new life still had some parts of my old culture in it.
Creating a Second Family
All those little chit-chats made a difference. Over the months I started organizing “cultural swap” dinners where everyone brought a meal from their country. Eventually, those friends turned into my first-choice companions for late night tea, sudden needs for help, and even rides to the airport.
The moral of the story.
If you ever feel alone in a new culture,
Keep in touch with home by doing video calls, sharing pictures, and doing online activities.
Prepare for the hard days by scheduling a get together or some type of special event, so the day doesn’t just pass by.
Enroll in some groups and clubs. Volunteering, cultural, or interest groups provide you with ready made communities.
Certain rituals you can do by yourself, such as making a favorite meal, watching a family movie, or having a special meal, can all help with a sense of comfort.
Don't hold back. There are other people who are feeling the same way.
How do you establish a “Second Family” in a different nation?
Again, your “second family” does not replace a family. They are family friends, classmates, mentors, and people you live near who help you during the happy and sad times.
Even if you a bit shy to begin with, it is nice to say yes to coffee and other social events or study groups.
Offer to help people learn about your culture. Often, food is a great way to do this.
Moving a friend, celebrating a friend's achievement, or just checking in on someone can all help bond people who only used to be associates.
Homesickness is overcome in a different way. It is a matter of time, and not all at once, that deliberate actions and shared experiences will relieve the feeling of homesickness. You will understand that you have the family, and you are not only “visiting” here. It is through every step of the way that the warmth of this place will engulf you. This is the value of empathy.
